My writing project
How Donald Trump
became president
Rough draft: 5/31/2017
Yes he was voted
in by a percentage of the population, but other factors were and are present
and changing all the time. My place in this story began many years ago during
Desert Storm war (17 January 1991 – 28 February
1991), Then, I was married
and it was she that got me into protesting, just a note to some people who are
unfamilar to protesting. What I have seen in others who also protested follow
the ways of Ghandi, making a physical presence of protest to inform others of a
need for social change, otherwise I would not have moved out of my comfort
zone. Also, during this time I had more investment in this war, my eldest
brother was in the National Guard Reserves in Desert Storm. At the time I was
living in a small town of Willits, in northern California, and incase you don’t
know Northern California is to me a place where free thinking lives and
breathes, because the story that I was told was that the Hippies from society moved
from the San Francisco bay area to north. Our regular practice was to meet once
a week at the city park (Babcock park) up on the lawn below the hospital, in
the afternoon and setup our protest signs at the base of Redwood trees and hold
our signs so that we faced East towards highway 101. After quite a few days of
just standing there watching the cars go by, some of the drivers were giving us
the thumbs up and honking their horns others were giving us the finger and
honking their horns out of dissapproval. During one of these days I leaned over
and asked one of my then wife’s friend, Susan, is this all we are going to do?
Just stand here? She said yes. Well, I wanted more to do more than just
standing there. So, I visualized four rainbow tournados vacuuming up the
negativeity and darkness in that part of the world. My intent was to remove
whatever energy that was creating this conflict, it was my hope and prayer that
this could have some effect on the situation. This visualization was one of
many that I created as need required over the years.
This
ability to visualize came from my constant addictive desire for emotional,
psychologial and spiritual growth through books, and personal experiences of
altered states of consciousness. I will
discuss these altered states later in these writings. Whenever I went into a
book store I would gravitate to the selfhelp section, and one of my key
learning books on visualization was Directing the Movies of Your Mind, by
Adelade Bry. As well as Creative Visualizations by Shatki Gawain. In the
beginning I could only visualize an apple as a blob, but after time I could
visualize anything I desired to see within the minds eye. As well as being able
to imagine and see inwardly every aspect of my inner anatmony with the inner eye
had opened many inner doors of awareness such as my inner sense of what has
been happening to this great land we call home. I know that I am not the only
one who senses the wrongnesses from the past and present infecting every aspect
of life ten generation in either from past to future. I am compled to act as if
I am the only one who can make these changes. Where does any calling come from?
Within or without or is it a call from the Earth it’s self or all the many
millions of living beings from rocks to plants, animals or is it the soul that
resides within my body. That I may never know, but never the less the call is there,
and I have answered with complete desire to serve beyond 100%.
My comittment to proceed forward knowing there are
risks from doing and risks from not doing. My experiences in Northern
California witnessing other protesters has left me with a dislike of the
process as it exhists today. The individual seeing something amis in the world
chooses to raise one’s voice and say” this is not right or acceptable”, and
said person suffers the dissapproval of ones fellow humans because he/she
chooses to express thenselves. Well the rule/law makers have made it a crime to
rock the social boat, or to protest anywhere near a political scene. It my belief
that any change begins within the self, if I change me, evolve as so few humans
are willing to, to risk such change so that the outer world can change. Here is
the rub, like they say in England. What if I change inside myself and find that
I can change the outside world without leaving my home or raising my voice or
holding a sign. My safety is not guarenteed, because I am a social being, I am
compled to teach this to others so that many silent hearts may express their
inner desire for healing our countries land. Then the world could have uplifted.
I choose as
in my life to grow through the fear of the unknowing, the calling is a stronger
desire than the risks, but the risks do exhist, because I have felt them. Not
to rule out my part in this as a fool, I have been and hopefully not always to
be the fool, in my heart I am more than a fool. I will discuss more on the many
risks that I imagined or feared later.
This morning 6/12/2017 at 4:28 AM
I have been up for 30 minutes because of my supper
resparitory infection, blowing my nose, coughing and sneezing, I have had this
for three to four weeks, it started at work with the irritant tough seal and
then it was the pollen from the trees and spring time and finally it was the
animals at our house sitting gig. Needlesss to say it has beeen a challenge.
How to be one who works with healing thoughts and energy and is unable to
remove my own dis-easeness. Yes, enviormental challenges of toxins or pollens
and the such require me to listen better each day to my bodyes messages. What
could I have done to mitagate this situation. The frog in boiling water is what
all of us are experiencing each day, there may be days, weeks or months or
years where all is well yet for many each day is emotional physical or
spriritual including mental suffering. For most of my life my suffering has
been a combination of emotional mental suffering and not the physical.
How is it ive
come from childhood to this now with so many lost “nows”, minutes and seconds
and many many years, bussey doing what others needed me to do or what I though
needed to be done. Yes, I feel as if I have waisted years. Where does this come
from? This sense of lacking in my life? I have done what others have done, I
followed my needs at the time, looked outside myself for love and lovers and
found people that I could love and be loved in return. I chose not to have
childern, determined not to do what my father did and possibly what my mother
did. I look at my hands seeing the formation of wrincles and the changes due to
arthritis in my fingers and or the result of injuries to my hands. The years of
doing! Working at some job to pay the bills so that I would have a place to
live, so on a so forth for years. I heard once that the highest order of
functioning is choosing and sorting. Yes, over the 58 years I have done much
choosing and less sorting. Now coming closer to my 60’s life requires me to do
much more sorting with less possibilities of chooses. The food I need to eat
for my better health choices are becoming fewer and fewer. The necisity for
limiting salt and sugar and other additives has increased. Caffeine and other
chemicles that are one of the many choices to comsume as a human are also no
longer on my list of desirable choices. So indeed, aging has required me to be
very specific to what I can put into my body without some undesirable results.
Too much sugar salt and or caffiene and I am unhappy and suffering. So, the
path of discipline seems to be the only path left for me. Self descipline does
not come without some whining and grumbling, I am saddened by my weakness of
character. I suppose growing older could be character building, woulderful,
more character building in ways and times that I would not have wished for.
I hope that there is still time for me to fill this
sense of lacking, but how? I have been trying to do differently than others in
this way. The peace that was in my earliest child I have reclaimed but this
peace keeps the suffering of the mind at bay, only if I meditate daily, and if
there are no conflicts. The creative visualizations during meditation of my
breathing into my body from my feet to my head the love from the air, so that I
may fill this empty cup of a body, helps, but needs to be often.
